Marriage is the coming together of two people who love each other. As time goes on, though, staying connected can become difficult. Responsibilities, obligations, or habits can steal time away from your spouse. Fortunately, there are ways you can reconnect and find the spark again.
Daily Life as an Obstacle
In the honeymoon phase of your marriage, everything seems perfect, particularly in the first few months after the wedding. You’re moving forward, taking time for each other, and enjoying building your new life together. Yet, the outside influences of your responsibilities and obligations slowly creep into your marriage. Work, household duties, and squeezing in time for each other can become exhausting. In addition, once you have children, you have less time than before to spend quality time with your partner.
The lack of time for each other can lead to distance between the two of you. As a result, you may feel unheard or neglected and seek diverse ways to feel good. In some cases, alcohol or drugs can seem like a fix to your feelings of hurt or neglect. Initially, the substances provide a sense of emotional fulfillment. However, as you rely increasingly on substances to meet your emotional needs, you push yourself further away from your spouse.
Substance Addiction Treatment
The time you spend in substance addiction treatment for your substance use disorder (SUD) is time you can work on yourself. Substances damage your relationships with others and yourself. Take the necessary time to heal while integrating healthy coping skills into your daily routine. Your substance addiction treatment center may offer:
- Wellness planning
- Recovery coaching
Take advantage of the available services, but don’t forget to include your partner in family therapy. Family therapy is an opportunity to rebuild your relationship. Therapy can also help your spouse better understand addiction.
Recovery and Relationships
After completing treatment, you will return to your home. Now the real work on preparing for your marriage begins. In the beginning, it might be challenging to try to discover where your relationship stands. However, you can achieve your goals if you follow these five steps:
#1. Rebuild Trust
Trust is an integral part of a marriage. Without faith, reconnecting with your spouse is difficult. The loss of emotional intimacy will take time to rebuild. Don’t try to rush the process. be sincere in your commitment to your marriage. Apologize for your transgressions and wait for your spouse to start to trust you. Respect their decisions as you rebuild the trust between yourselves. Ephesians 5:28, 33 can give you guidance in love and respect.
#2. Be Honest
Honesty is a part of a solid foundation in any marriage. Your SUD cracked that foundation. Remain involved in reconnecting with your spouse by telling the truth. One way to work on telling the truth is to remain active in therapy, marriage counseling, or your substance addiction treatment center’s alumni group. These sources of support can help you maintain your goal of being honest with your spouse and yourself.
#3. Practice Kindness
Even the smallest gestures can improve someone’s day. While significant, extravagant expressions of love are excellent, why not focus on small acts of love? Make going out of your way for your partner a daily routine. For instance, get up early and make them a smoothie or become an active partner in preparing meals. Set aside time to do something with your partner. Making your spouse feel special and loved can repair the loss of emotional intimacy.
#4. Ask Questions
Think about how you feel when asked about your work, hobby, or interest. Asking your partner about their day or an activity they enjoy begins a conversation that you can build on. Conversations that include both partners’ interests, dreams, or goals are healthy ways to discover each other. Additionally, those conversations can reconnect you and push you to be better people.
#5. Remember Why You’re Together
As you return to the routine of your marriage or life begins to become hectic, stop and assess your marriage. Maybe frustration or the busyness of your lives are pulling you apart again. Pause your schedule and remember what brought you together. Talk with your spouse about the health of your marriage. If there is an obstacle or misgiving, find healthy ways to address the issue. Remember, one or two choices don’t define you or your spouse. Learn to love and forgive each other again.
Marriage and the Bible
Marriage is a lifelong promise to each other to love and respect each other. Ecclesiastes 9:9 tells you to live joyfully with the wife for all the days of your life. God intended marriage to be a commitment to each other through good and bad times.
Valentine’s Day isn’t the only day of the year you can show love to your partner. May is Date Your Mate Month. Find ways every day of the month to show your spouse the love and respect you have for them. If you’re working on your relationship after completing a substance addiction treatment program, don’t be afraid to include your partner in your recovery journey. Talk with them about your thoughts and feelings. Find ways to reconnect and build emotional intimacy with small acts of compassion. Even if you don’t go on a traditional date, think of everything you do as a mini date. Take every opportunity to touch, kiss, or hug your spouse. Renaissance Ranch Treatment Centers is here for you even after you complete treatment. Our alumni group and therapists will guide and support you in rebuilding your marriage. For more information, call (801) 308-8898 today.