Individual family members will be able to speak with and work with our therapists and clinicians in order to help them engage in their own recovery. It is important for family members to learn about and understand their role and the role of the person struggling with addiction in their current family dynamic. When appropriate, families and clients will be in family therapy together.
LDS Family rehab with group therapy allows each family to interact with other families in similar situations. This forum provides the opportunity to process issues and determine solutions. It helps each family to recognize that they are not alone.
According to Melanie Beattie, a leading expert on codependency, codependent personality disorder is a dysfunctional relationship with the self characterized by living through or for another, attempts to control others, blaming others, a sense of victimization, attempts to “fix” others, and intense anxiety around intimacy. It is very common in people raised in dysfunctional families, and in the partners and children of alcoholics and addicts.
In John Bradshaw’s book Healing the Shame that Binds You, he shows how toxic shame is the core component of our compulsions including, codependency, lying, addiction, and the drive to super-achieve or underachieve. This toxic shame, most often experienced in childhood, results in the breakdown of our self-esteem, the destruction of the family system, and an inability to move forward and form lasting intimate relationships in our lives. We assist family members in discovering those shame issues and ultimately finding resolution.
The term “anger management” commonly refers to a system of psychological therapeutic techniques and exercises by which someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger can control or reduce the triggers, degrees, and effects of an angered emotional state.
Through talk therapy, family members can learn to understand and deal with their emotions rather than avoid, hide or deny them.
12 Support Groups
Al-Anon family groups are an international “fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics/addicts who share their experience, strength, and hope in order to solve their common problems.” They “help families of alcoholics by practicing the 12 Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic. It is important that family members find an Al-Anon group to join, get a sponsor and participate regularly.
Bill Wilson was one of the founder’s of Alcoholics Anonymous. His wife Lois explains why as the spouse of an alcoholic, she also required treatment:
After a while I began to wonder why I was not as happy as I ought to be, since the one thing I had been yearning for all my married life [Bill’s sobriety] had come to pass. Then one Sunday, Bill asked me if I was ready to go to the meeting with him. To my own astonishment as well as his, I burst forth with “Damn your old meetings!” and threw a shoe as hard as I could.
This surprising display of temper over nothing pulled me up short and made me start to analyze my own attitudes. … My life’s purpose of sobering up Bill, which had made me feel desperately needed, had vanished. … I decided to strive for my own spiritual growth. I used the same principles as he did to learn how to change my attitudes. … We began to learn that … the partner of the alcoholic also needed to live by a spiritual program.