Trust is a very complex yet essential value in life, regardless of who you are or what you have been through. That being said, implementing trust back into your life during recovery can seem like too much to handle with everything else that you must concentrate on. Even though this may seem to be true, having secure, trusting relationships is certainly something you can develop for yourself.
Having trustworthy people there for you is so important for continued recovery. Yet, as we know, recovery often comes along with growing pains. While recovery is certainly rewarding, this does not mean we will no longer feel doubt or anxiety from time to time. Having trustworthy and supportive individuals by your side to console and encourage you can help you work through these trying times and grow into the version of yourself you are working towards.
Something that is often not considered by many is learning how to trust ourselves again (or perhaps for the first time in our lives). While we were in the midst of our addictions, we often let ourselves down and could not meet our own needs. Perhaps we also made choices during that time which we feel disappointed in today. The disappointment and shame typically manifest into significant feelings of low self-esteem and self-doubt. This lack of self-trust may form a belief within us that we are incapable of making responsible decisions for ourselves that meet our needs and give us what we want.
We may think that we cannot know what we want in this stage of life, as well. Having gone through such a confusing, disorienting time in our lives can make us question who we are as people today.
Life is full of uncertainty, and despite the feelings, you may be having, it does not mean you need to be unsure of yourself or your wants and choices. It may be tempting to lean on others to make choices for you due to doubt, but actively making choices for yourself by tuning in to your mind and body will show you that you can trust yourself to take care of your needs. Many find that practicing meditation, breathwork, or prayer when combined with mental and physical wellness can actively help you to center yourself.
These activities also help you to find confidence in who you are and what you desire in life. Doing so actively helps to get rid of doubtful thought patterns that prevent us from trusting ourselves. While there may have been difficulties with self-trust in the past, take comfort in the fact that through your sobriety and new lifestyle choices, you have everything you need to trust that you can do what is best for you in each moment.
Who Should I Trust?
Beginning to trust others again can cause one to feel confused while in recovery. You may begin to ask, “How do I know if I can trust this person to be a positive influence on me?” While you may have developed your self-trust by this point, sometimes this question may still pop up in various situations. Fortunately, there are many ways you can figure out who you can or cannot choose to trust to let into your life.
Even though it may be uncomfortable to look back upon who the main people in your life were while you were using, it can be beneficial to figure out what traits to look for or avoid in potential friendships. Typically, the people who were significant in our lives while using were enabling us to continue use. These people did not encourage us to seek help and grow. You may even find that, sadly, these people only wanted us around for selfish reasons. In recognizing this, we can avoid getting closer to people with these qualities in the future.
Instead, we can seek out those who do the opposite. Those who encourage our recovery, respect our boundaries, and support us are people who will appreciate us for who we are. These people will also practice healthy daily habits and have goals and aspirations for themselves that they work towards every day.
Many people also find especially assuring is finding people who are familiar with recovery in some way, whether that be through helping others or experiencing it themselves. Regardless, we can trust people with these traits to not take advantage of the vulnerability that it takes to trust a person because they will genuinely care for our well-being.
Learning to trust others is something that takes a significant amount of vulnerability. During recovery, experiencing this kind of vulnerability around others may be extremely uncomfortable. Doing so can also be rewarding and empowering. In trusting others, you can feel more confident in your abilities to make choices and identify what is best for you. Having others in your life whom you can trust also helps you stay sober while becoming the best version of yourself. However, this does not mean this is an easy process. At Renaissance Ranch in Utah, we recognize that you may need assistance in learning how to trust again. At our facility, we have a very supportive community of men developing this same trait as they recover with the help of trained professionals who have had to go through the same process themselves. If you would like to learn more, please call us today at (801) 308-8898.