Addiction shatters lives. It causes us to do and say things we would never say when sober. We hurt and disappoint those who love us. We feel judgment and criticism. We lash out to defend ourselves rather than face what we’ve done. We learn to hate ourselves and expect everyone else to feel the same way.
The truth is addiction can damage some relationships beyond repair. Some people will walk away from us forever. Some won’t walk away, but it may take them a while to trust us even after we’re clean, our relationship never quite returning to what it was before the addiction. Thankfully, others will welcome us back or forge new connections, supporting our change and trusting our desire for healing even when we mess up.
(freepik/Freepik)
It’s important to understand that God is not like us. He doesn’t look at us the way we look at each other. He isn’t petty and doesn’t lash out when He’s hurt. He doesn’t assume our intentions were terrible from the start or that our struggles are an insult or crime against Him.
God sees our innermost selves, our thoughts and feelings. He knows every event of our lives, from our first breath to our last. He knows what our talents, challenges, disabilities, and strengths are and how they affect our choices. He knows what circumstances surround our every decision, the pressures we feel, the desires of our hearts, and our understanding of the coming consequences of our actions.
None of us took that first drink or that first taste of drugs, happily saying, “I’m destroying my life and my relationships today.” No one had a crushing day and said, “I’m making things worse by deepening my dependence on something that will kill me. Next round’s on me.”
The point is that He loves the real you, cares about your struggle, knows your greatest potential, wants you to succeed, and is waiting in the wings to step in the minute you open your heart to Him. If you damaged anything, it was your own faith and the lines of communication between you and God. You didn’t change how God looks at you.
You can’t cross a line that will make Him hate you. No matter how many times you fall into the same addiction, He’s willing to pick you back up. He never sleeps and has no distracting hobbies. He loves His children and sent His Son to die to pay the price for our sins because He knew we’d sin. He knew we’d mess up and loved us anyway.
So, the real question is, how do we open our hearts to God and reestablish open communication with Him?
Steps to Draw Closer to God
While there are some fundamental building blocks to developing trust in God, they fall in no particular order and can be done simultaneously or step by step.
Prayer: Communication is the key to any relationship. Real prayer is raw, intimate, and unpredictable. God’s got big shoulders. He can carry your hurts and disappointments and help you heal, but only if you turn them over to Him. He wants you to talk to Him like you would your best friend.
What’s going on in your life? If you’re weak today, talk to Him. If you’re sad, angry, or afraid, speak to Him. If you just succeeded in overcoming an obstacle, no matter how small, celebrate with Him. If you’re overcome with peace or joy or wonder, share it with Him. This is the single most important relationship you will have in this life, but He gave you the controls. He won’t force you to let Him in.
Scriptures: People read biographies of icons, the most successful, doggedly determined, and amazing people to live before us. We gain strength, courage, understanding, and insight. Scriptures are biographies of people who figured out God was the answer. You see them struggle to build their faith, sometimes successfully and other times not so much. You see God’s love in action and hear His promises of help, comfort, and forgiveness.
God gave us a map so we could find and learn how to communicate with and receive strength and guidance from God. But a map is only good when we know how to read and follow it. First, read, then study, then delve deeply into its pages. The more you do, the easier it becomes, and the more you love reading them.
Fellowship: Finding others who support your budding faith is essential in this challenging stage of your recovery. Faith-based treatment centers give you a safe place away from the triggers of your old life to build or refresh your ties with God. It also allows you to lean on and support others on the same journey.
After you leave a Christian-based rehabilitation center, it’s easy to fall into old habits and hang out with those who support your drug or alcohol habit rather than your recovery. Fellowship with others who will help you in your walk with God can mean the difference between healing and relapse.
To Sum Up
God never moves away from us. We move away from God. The hope in that statement is that rebuilding the relationship is entirely in our hands. If we want Him, He’s waiting with open arms. Consider finding an addiction recovery center that will support your faith and give you hope for a brighter tomorrow.