Addiction is complex, involving our physical, mental, and emotional selves. We learn to:
- Lean on substances rather than healthier coping techniques for stress
- Self-medicate trauma
- Self-medicate mental illness
- Push people away who object to our addiction
- Create relationships with people who share our addiction
- Disconnect from spiritual practices
- Lose faith in ourselves as we try and fail to quit on our own
Understanding how deeply entrenched these behaviors are can help us understand the path to recovery isn’t just stopping the behavior. It’s learning to think and act differently in the long term. These leadership tools will develop your strengths, improve your relationships, make you a more valuable employee, and put you back in the driver’s seat of your life.
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Decision Making
When suffering from addiction, many choices get taken from you. Recovery is about taking those choices back and using them effectively to further your goals.
- Live in the moment. It does you no good to forever rehearse the wrongs of the past in your mind or worry obsessively over the future. You can’t change what was, only what’s happening now.
- Analyze your situation. Learn to look at challenges objectively. Once you understand a situation (or even part of a complex situation), you can tackle it piece by piece. What resources (material, time, or people) can you access? What is the most efficient use of those resources? How can you break down the challenge into manageable pieces? What actions will impact you most and drive you toward the desired outcome?
- Act. All the understanding in the world is useless if you never put your plan into action. Do something immediately that gets you closer to your goal. Set an appointment. Make a phone call. Taking that first step to get momentum behind your decision
Conflict Resolution
You’ll click with some people, and others will rub you the wrong way. Some people will disagree with you, while others will back you up. Working with people is a mixed bag and conflicts will arise. How you handle those conflicts makes the difference when looking to advance your career, repair relationships, or gain peace of mind.
- Remain calm. If you lose your temper, you’ve lost the argument. The other party quits listening to you. Take a deep breath, count, or excuse yourself for a moment to calm down before engaging.
- Listen to understand. You can eliminate many problems by minimizing miscommunications. Try to see the opposing side’s point of view. If you understand their pain points (the problems the other party is trying to solve), you might be able to find a common solution.
- Work toward win-win solutions. Both sides should give a little to find a workable solution. Both sides would walk away in better shape than when they approached negotiations.
- Agree to disagree. Some people just aren’t flexible. They cannot compromise, are challenging to work with, and can be downright infuriating. You can’t change them. The best solution is not to engage in a battle you cannot win. Move on.
- Involve a neutral party, counselor, or supervisor. If the conflict can’t be resolved between you, but a solution is necessary, involve a trusted third party.
Ask For Help
While independence is important, so is recognizing your limits.
- Call someone. When you find those limits, ask for help. Addiction thrives in solitude. If you’re triggered and feel like giving in, call your mentor or a loved one, be around people, attend a meeting, or go to your higher power.
- Seek professional counseling. If you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, or mental illness, it’s nothing to feel ashamed of. We all deal with challenges. Use that energy to feel better. Sometimes, the condition is short-lived (dealing with life events, postpartum depression, or trauma), while other conditions are long-term (brain injury, chemical imbalance, etc.). Therapy and medication are just tools. Seek counseling to learn healthy coping techniques and talk to a doctor about medications that can help.
- Involve co-workers. Get others engaged with you in your work projects. Learn to utilize each group member’s strengths for the best possible outcome.
Set Clear Boundaries
Setting boundaries is an internal exercise. You decide what you’re willing to do, behaviors you’ll accept from others, and where you draw the line. With a few exceptions for people who refuse to honor your limits, you can be polite yet firm about enforcing your personal boundaries.
- Redirect to a healthy alternative. If a dear friend or business associate wants to meet over drinks, you can ask them to get together over dinner instead.
- Surround yourself with positive people. A negative friend or family member can make you miserable and leave you vulnerable to temptation. Find friendlier company and be pleasantly too busy to entertain the negativity.
- Explain yourself. Suppose a favored group activity always involves alcohol or drugs. Let your friends know that sobriety is important to you and invite them to do something else. Your true friends will support you.
Set Realistic Goals
Set healthy goals that you know you can meet. Long-term plans are good and they give you hope for a brighter future, but be sure to break the big goals into smaller manageable pieces. Meeting small goals helps build confidence and a habit of success. Celebrate every accomplishment, even if it’s just in your head. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t meet a goal deadline; focus on progress and adjust the timeline.
These tools are about choosing who you will be. Don’t let your past define you or your future. If you’re ready to start your journey to sobriety, we offer men’s and women’s substance abuse treatment programs and faith-based drug rehabs in Utah and Idaho. There’s help available to get you back on your feet.
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