It is easy to overlook how important and influential a family structure can be. Especially when you grow up with a stable family structure, you may often overlook the subtle and, some may say, mundane effects having a stable family can have not just on your upbringing, but throughout your entire lives. For a close-knit family, and even for a family that does not particularly get along, addiction takes quite a toll. When one struggles with addiction, the whole family struggles.
This can be especially trying for those at the head of a family structure. Men are often seen as sources of strength for the family. When they struggle with addiction, it can be difficult for them to be there and support their family the way they need to. This family responsibility is often a primary motivator for men to seek treatment. Fathers are only human though, and just as they need to be there for their family as a parent, each member of a family needs to be there for each other physically, spiritually, and emotionally – no matter what the turmoil might be.
Pressures of Family Responsibility
When thinking about the structure of family support, the expression “it takes a village” comes to mind. Your family is supposed to be your rock, though unfortunately more often than not in today’s day and age, they fall short. Modern-day faults and shortcomings aside, it is essential for a family to be able to provide emotional and physical support to each other.
First and foremost, one great way to provide family support is to just be there. The majority of the time, people just need to know that you are there to be a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. Essentially, the most important thing is to offer love, support, and advice when needed.
For years, there has been pressure on men to be a symbol of strength for their families. Unfortunately, this has led to a toxic ideology that showing emotion is a sign of weakness. This leads men to grow up being unable to healthily express emotions, whether they are considered good or bad. This can often lead to struggles with mental illness, addiction, and an inability to show affection to their children. It is important for men to be able to serve not only as a symbol of strength, but provide emotional support, as well.
The Effects of Not Being There for Your Family
There are a lot of things that children learn from their families, even in the earliest stages of life. Your morals, values, and beliefs are often influenced, learned, and observed from your fathers, and parents in general.
However, it is important to preface that those who may not have grown up with families do not lack a value system. Not having a family can make growing up incredibly difficult, but plenty of people make it through with some sort of support system. That aside, family members are often connected to important stages of life. Some studies have even been able to connect positive family relationships to overall well-being.
Fathers play a significant role for both sons and daughters. Certain schools of thought suggest that it is possible for daughters to value certain aspects of their fathers later in romantic relationships. They grow up observing their father’s behaviors and may end up seeking out men who have similar qualities and traits as their fathers. Bad father figures can lead to potentially toxic relationships in the future.
Fathers are also important figureheads for their sons. Boys will look up to and try to emulate the actions of their dads. When those actions are negative, that is what boys will learn, and doing so often causes a concerning history to repeat itself.
Fathers Need Support, Too
A powerful motivator for people to enter into recovery is the desire to be there for their families. The importance of emotional and physical support and the dangers of not receiving that support are all true. However, if it cannot be provided both ways, everyone involved suffers.
Addiction can be relentless in taking a person’s life from them. Men are often looked at as the rock of their families. Not being able to provide support can be crushing. Those feelings of shame and guilt can either spur on the addiction or help them recover. However, in order for them to get help, they first need the support of their family.
Recovery stories are powerful in themselves, but the influence they can have over others can be beyond inspiring. Fathers who overcome their addictions and seek recovery are pillars of strength for their families. By seeking help, you are teaching your children that there is nothing that cannot be done, especially by the grace of God with your family by your side.
Men with families may often feel immense pressure to adequately support their family and be a pillar of strength for them, as well. It’s important for them to be there for their families, but it’s also important for families to support their fathers in times of need. Everyone experiences dark days, especially when struggling with something like addiction. That family responsibility may feel crushing at times, but it can also motivate men to seek treatment and recovery. Recovery for these men is about so much more than getting better for themselves, it’s about being better for their families. At Renaissance Ranch, our gospel-centered and clinically driven treatment can help you recover and return home to your family. If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction and needs help to recover, reach out to us at Renaissance Ranch at (801) 308-8898 today and begin your road to recovery. Be the support your family needs today.