If you have a loved one struggling with alcohol addiction, it’s wrenching to stand back and watch the destruction unfold. However, it’s also hard to determine what to say or do in such a delicate situation.
One of the best things you can do to be a help and not a hindrance is to educate yourself on alcohol use disorders (AUDs). This will help you understand that your loved one is dealing with a disease and how that disease affects their cognitive state, emotional tendencies, and mental health. This understanding will help you feel more confident in your interactions with your loved one and plan how to step in.
Don’t be discouraged if your first conversation with your loved one is not welcomed with open arms. The first attempt is not always successful. They need to know you’ll never give up on them, which will help them fight the fight when they feel like giving up on themself. The goal is to lovingly encourage them enough to get them to an addiction recovery center.
Since knowledge is power, we’ll help you gain the ability to understand, act, and intervene for the well-being of your loved one.
Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) in a Nutshell
Too much alcohol one weekend to celebrate a friend’s engagement is one thing. But drinking at that level every day for an extended period and not having the control to stop is when it turns into an AUD. Oftentimes, an individual with AUD notices the negative impacts it has on their life and wants to stop, yet they drink anyway because of the hold the AUD has on them and the lack of control they have over it.
AUD is a persistent yet treatable condition that often brings about cognitive shifts and physiological changes, making it harder for individuals to quit drinking—even when they genuinely desire to do so.
Signs of an AUD include:
- An abnormal amount of time spent on drinking or being hungover
- Showing symptoms of alcohol withdrawal, including insomnia, sweating, shakiness, and a fast-beating heart
- A super high tolerance for alcohol (needing to drink more than they used to to feel the same effects of alcohol)
- Consistently drinking more than intended
- Constant expression of wanting to cut back but being unable to
- Struggling at school, work, or other responsibilities due to drinking
- Choosing alcohol over family, friends, and other things that used to be important to them
The National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism defines heavy drinking for men as “consuming five or more drinks in any day or 15 or more per week.” And for women, “four or more on any day or eight or more drinks per week.”
The Right Words to Say To Your Loved One
Now that you know what AUD is and how to identify it, you can determine if your loved one struggles with an addiction or not. If your family member or friend does need help, here are some suggestions for starting a conversation with them.
1. Ask if You Can Help Them
Your loved one has probably contemplated getting help but may feel alone. Asking them for permission to help them not only puts the ball in their court but also reassures them that they won’t face the journey alone. Consider asking: “Will you let me help you through this?”
If they accept your invitation to help them, you could start by finding a good substance abuse center in Utah. It’s essential that your loved one feels in control of the situation and unconditionally supported by you.
2. Tell Them You’re There for Support When They’re Ready to Seek Help
Don’t force the issue if you’ve tried to intervene several times without success. Sometimes, being pushy can have adverse effects. For that reason, consider telling your loved one you are there to support them when they’re ready to start their recovery.
This shows your hope and faith that your loved one WILL be ready. It also shows that they will not be alone when they decide to seek treatment.
3. Set Boundaries
Those struggling with AUD benefit from boundaries. Don’t enable their behavior. This might be the light bulb that goes off for them, leading them to seek help. Tell them you won’t do certain activities with them when they drink. You might say, “If you drink tonight, I will not go out to eat with you.”
You are setting a boundary and showing them the effect their behavior has on you. This helps to show your loved one what’s at stake if they continue down the path of heavy drinking they are currently on. It also protects yourself and your mental health. You can’t force them to give up certain behaviors, but that doesn’t mean you should excuse their behavior or enable them.
Making boundaries doesn’t have to be harsh. You can set limits in a tactful, loving, yet direct way.
Watching a loved one struggle can be devastating, frustrating, angering, and sad, all in the same breath. Remember that miracles happen every day. People worse off than your loved one have chosen to recover. There is always hope, and it just takes time. Your loving words, support, and boundary-setting are planting seeds pivotal to their eventual recovery. When your loved one is ready, so are we. Feel free to contact us for additional guidance or information.