So many of us believe in the power of self-loathing. We believe in not liking ourselves. This self-deprecation is defined as humility in our minds. The less we believe in ourselves, the more humble we think we are. However, humility is not about self-loathing. Humility is about love.
What Is Love?
We are so willing to corral the idea of love into our families and friends; we forget about loving the rest of the world. We show love in the moments we smile at a stranger on the street. We offer love when we are willing to listen to the cashier at our favorite fast food place tell us about the argument he had with his girlfriend that morning.
The moment we think of ourselves as being above having to listen to and help others is when we experience a lack of humility. Judging others and their flaws is easier than loving them. When we hear of the legal trouble of one person, we might think, “Well, he should have managed his life better.” This attitude does not reflect a love of others, nor the love of ourselves. Instead, this attitude is hyper-critical, not to mention that at one moment in our life, we may have also experienced a moment of not managing our lives well enough. Our judgment turns inward and begets self-loathing, which is a form of pride.
You may not believe self-loathing can be pride or selfishness, but when you are only focused on what you do wrong, you neglect those around you and the opportunity to love others.
Humility Means Forgiveness
We are, each of us, imperfect beings, fallible and destructive by nature. We can no more achieve perfection than our brothers, who seem to have life all together. They do not have their lives put together. Each one of us is struggling to make our lives work. Forgive yourself for your imperfections. Only when you can forgive yourself can you truly forgive others.
When we admit our flaws, not in a manner of hatred but love and acceptance, we can start building the life we desire. Forgiving yourself means acceptance of your flaws and loving yourself despite your imperfections.
Humility also requires the forgiveness of those whom we blame for our decisions. Holding on to our past and the hurts others inflicted upon us does not permit healing. Instead, it creates pride, arrogance, and hatred. This lack of forgiveness also creates enemies. You cannot mend relationships without love and forgiveness. Being willing to forgive invites humility and seeing life from another’s perspective. Operating in love and humility allows building and restoring relationships.
Humility in Recovery
Recovery is imperfect. We will never be able to stand on a podium and say, “Thank you for coming here to celebrate my recovery. I did it all on my own.” Recovery requires recognizing our inability to manage life on our own. Admitting the problem begins the process. Asking for help is another step. Step One in the Big Book is admitting we are powerless and need a power greater than ourselves to get through recovery.
Admitting our powerlessness is an integral part of recovery and requires complete humility. We cannot tackle recovery on our own. No, we need help. We need help from our higher power, friends who do not use alcohol and/or other substances, our families, our sponsor, and maybe from professionals who understand the dilemmas we face in overcoming addiction to alcohol and/or other substances.
At Renaissance Ranch, we know your need for a support system as you battle addiction. We offer services for you and your family. We know how humbling it can be to ask for help.
Avoiding Judgment as You Walk in Recovery
Being judgmental is a human flaw, and having a critical nature is natural to every human walking the planet. We are interested in seeing ourselves as better or worse than others, and we want to be seen as the best person we can be. Social media, with its filters and focus on who does what better, encourages competition and judgments. Escaping the pull of judgment seems impossible.
However, being judgmental only impairs our ability to focus on recovery. We cannot focus on overcoming our flaws as we judge them and the deficiencies of others. Recovery is not about competition and being the best person. Recovery is about overcoming behaviors and becoming ourselves without hiding behind alcohol and/or other substances.
We may have judged ourselves in our pasts and found ourselves wanting, leading to addictive behaviors. We self-medicated to avoid our problems and flaws, only creating more problems and more self-loathing.
Recovery is about walking in love for ourselves and others. Recovery is about humility and relearning the power of love.
Recovery is about learning how to love oneself, despite our flaws. Humility means admitting our weaknesses and being willing to forgive and love ourselves and others. At Renaissance Ranch, we know the struggle and self-empowerment of love and humility. We understand how difficult it can be to ask for help. Do not be afraid to admit you have a problem. Much of the world has problems of which they are unwilling to speak. However, help is always available. If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction to alcohol and/or other substances, you need not struggle alone. At Renaissance Ranch, we have people waiting for your call. Admitting you need help is a true act of humility and self-love. Begin the process of recovery today. Help yourself and your family by reaching out. Call Renaissance Ranch today at (801) 308-8898 and learn how we can help. You do not need to feel ashamed any longer.